Friday, February 19, 2010

Pride and Prejudice

"I don't believe makeup and the right hairstyle alone can make a woman beautiful. The most radiant woman in the room is the one full of life and experience."
Sharon Stone

Running group last night! They're really a great group. We ran a 4K and I felt really good, however, I was still back there amongst the final few. In a little over 6 months, I have made so much progress...but, I am slow. Oh I know that I will improve and that everyone has to start at the beginning, I know all that, I'm just stating a fact. But, I don't love being at the back of the pack. Suzanne was at the front of the pack and her group missed the turn around so they did an extra 500 meters. I didn't miss the turnaround, but the front group whizzed past me not too long into the second half. Except Suzanne, she slowed down by me and said, I'm going to run with you until the finish. I don't think she realized how touched I was that she would do that (feeling verklempt as I write this). I tell you, there are some sweet people in this group.
The problem is with me, I don't like being slow and I must swallow my pride when running with this group.
My prejudice is related to what the faster runners might be thinking.
I KNOW that my goal should be to get to the finish line in one piece. I KNOW that it doesn't matter how fast or slow I am, at least I'm doing it. I KNOW that I should only be competing with myself and not comparing myself to others. I KNOW and believe all that and more...
My problem, and I'm going to be honest here, is that it's almost like we, as in we slower runners, are not allowed to complain about our lack of speed. I know I'll improve, but can I just be a little annoyed that I can't beat you...hell I can't even follow you. Can I just say I'd like to finish my half marathon in under 2:30 hours without the 25 year old instructor telling me, "it's more important to finish with a smile the first time." Can I mention my pace without one of the fastest runners saying "don't worry about your pace, it'll come."
I KNOW it will come and I'm not worried, just annoyed! ...truth is, all these comments sound a little condescending to me...it's like being told not to worry my pretty little head about that...sigh. Okay, I'm done, but I just thought I'd get that off my chest.
I will repeat that I love my running group, I love pushing myself with them and I love having a friend choose to slow down and run with me and I know you all mean well...

Well look at that, someone received her Garmin (mine's a she) :)
Okay, I'm the techno dudette at home, but this little gadget requires some serious time investment...Can I say I'm not crazy about the very sensitive bezel! I'm getting there though and because today is a rest day for me, uber hubby will be trying it out first. I'll give you my opinion on Sunday.

Hard core yoga this morning was an excellent workout...now I'm off to the gym.
Have a great weekend!
Cheers!

27 comments:

Jocelyn said...

So nice of her to run with you! I know how frustrating it can be to be the slow runner, but I think everyone has been there. I know I have respect for the people who finish after me because it takes me concentration and determination not to give up! Keep up the good work. Speed will come later

hmm114 said...

LOVE your new "she" garmin ! :) Mine is boring black and no where is pretty as yours! After your posts about your running group, it inspired me into looking into one. They have a beginners group that starts in April, so I think I'm going to join them. Like you said..I think it will do a lot as far as pushing me. Don't worry about being at the back of the pack...You are DOING THIS!! Keep Running~ :)

TMB @ RACING WITH BABES said...

Sounds like a great group!

I agree with you, as much as running is an individual thing, it's hard not to compare yourself to others. And having been slower and now not as slow, I'll tell you it doesn't get better. There is always someone faster that you can compare yourself with. And trust me, it irks the heck out of me that I still can't beat half of my friends (luckily they all age out of my age group this year!)

jenn w/ 2 n's said...

Awww... Congrats! She's so cute!

I'm a s.l.o.w. runner too. I've been training by myself but just this week contacted a local running group I may try out. I'll have to admit I'm a little intimidated though. Good for you to have a running friend. I hope to find one of those here.

Sarah said...

I am quite slow. I have come to accept this. :) I run because I love it and it makes me happy. But...I get bummed being stuck at the back of the pack too. Last year I did regular speed work and was able to move to the back of the middle of the pack...and I think I feel good there. :)

AM-GoalsfortheWeek! said...

i have my garmin too!...but it's a 305, and i haven't used it yet, b/c yeah, i need to invest more than ~5 min learning about it!

Jamoosh said...

That Garmin looks like it belongs on your wrist!

Tara said...

Nice new Garmin. Does SHE have a name? I know several people that have named theirs. :)

I'm so sorry that your are frustrated. Hang in there!

Julie said...

Hi Anne,
You sound like me:) I am sure that you are just being hard on yourself....you are most likely faster than you think:) Seriously, it will get better...I promise!! Tomorrow will be a better day:) I hope that you have a wonderful weekend!! The garmin looks good on you:)

Teamarcia said...

If it's any consolation, I'm faster now than I was 12 years ago. It can and does happen.
Love the new Garmin! So pretty compared to my Neanderthal model. But I'm not complaining. Enjoy!

Jon Gilchrist said...

i feel that complaining bit..and YEs...you certainly ARE allowed to be pissed about not beating the faster runners.

And so...after that..use it as fuel to keep getting faster....

ajh said...

I have the 405 but mine is not nearly as pretty.

momof3 said...

I would love to have the right words to say but... I really struggled with this for a long time. I hated being the slowest, it's so mentally draining. Here's the good news though, just as there is always someone faster - there is always someone slower. No really, find a 5K and race it so you can see you fast you are.

Hi! I'm Erin said...

Thanks for the nice comment on my blog! I can commiserate about being the slowest person in the running group. That's totally me! I get some of those same comments and some not-so-nice ones. On the plus side, they push me much harder than I would push myself.

In terms of the finicky bezel on the 405, if you press both buttons at the same time it will lock the bezel and keep you from accidently changing something. I'm still figuring out all the intricies of mine but I know that one trick!

Nicole said...

Hello! Thanks for stopping by my blog!! YAY for getting a garmin!! A green one at that! I have that watch and LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Seriously its my favorite! Did you name her yet?!? I got my watch on Cinco De Mayo, so his name is juanito the garmito! :) Have a good weekend!

Jill said...

Love, love your new GARMIN! So pretty! Enjoy.

I can totally relate with you about the SLOW part. I struggle with it and it's ones of the reasons I don't like running with others because it's a constant reminder that I am slow. Good for you for getting out there and joining a running group...that's so great. You will improve. I notice the more I run the fster I get. I have to remember why I RUN, Why I am doing this! And then it helps me to re-focus. Speed will come.

Thanks for sharing. This why I love reading runners blogs because it's nice to be able to relate to other runners.

Amy said...

I know where you're coming from - I am pretty slow too... I have very gradually increased my "normal" pace over the past three years of running just by being consistent, doing interval and tempo runs, and trying not to be too hard on myself. I was really mad, though, once when I was doing a 10K race here and as I got into the last round, a guy on a bike started slowly biking behind me and telling all the volunteers that I was the last one, and they could close up shop as I went by!!! I wanted to kick this guy, I was so angry!!! I know someone has to come in last, but I hated that it was me! Grrrrr

Jennifer said...

Great quote! Yes, I too am a slow one. Last year I spent a good six+ months in recovery from injuries I got from ignoring my natural pace and trying to be a fastie, now I know better! You are doing alright! I have the green Garmin too and LOVE it, especially how it downloads my stuff right from my wrist as I walk in the door (that's 'cause my computer is very close by) but it's still amazing. Have fun!

Anne said...

One of the benefits of group running is being able to size yourself up to the others and know where you need to go. When you run alone all the time, it's easy to settle on a comfortable pace. Group running should push you to try a little harder. And eventually you'll move up in the pack and someone else will take your place.

(And if you think it's frustrating being in the back of the pack as a new runner, try being me - who once was one of those fast runners and now, well, isn't.)

wannabewriterrunner said...

I have a Sat group run and today I was at the back of the pack but that's ok because I didn't stop or give up! Way to go and yay for the new Garmin.

Giorgio said...

Hi Anne,
I agree with your idea about running group and I don't like running on my own. Running as a team can improve the speed.
Have a nice weekend.

mommaof3ontherun said...

So Anne, you and I struggle so much with this pace thing. I know how you feel and that is all I gotta say, LOL. We need to learn to take our own advice! Happy running!

Beth said...

Accepting that I am slow and that its not a character flaw has been my biggest hurdle in becoming a runner. At first I thought I would become faster, but it didn't happen. Acceptance did happen, though, and I've grown to think of speed as being relative. I've also grown to love my friends that could be a lot faster but are willing to slow down to be with me. They are the best!

Sarah said...

YAY you got your Garmin! :)

As for being slow, I too am among the slow runners and I know just how you feel. It's hard for me to focus only on distance because I'm competitive and ultimately I want to run fast. You are not alone!

Robin said...

Love your new toy! SHE is beautiful. :-)

Re: pace - Anne, I just have to ask (as the Turtle Runner!), why IS pace so important and associated with other runners? I'm wondering: Who are you running for, friend? Now, I know I can ask you that question bluntly, b/c you are, after all, a psychologist, and I think as a fellow runner and a mental health professional, you can see where I'm going with the questions: Sometimes, we need someone to ask us the questions that create reflection. Who gives a da** what the 25-yr old instructor thinks or says??? Any runner worth his or her weight will tell you the same thing: Don't compare yourself to other runners. And while they may sound condescending, I've come to realize that many (most?) runners talk in numbers when they talk about running. Think about it: as soon as someone learns you run, they ask, "Oh, what's your pace? What's your best PR? etc..." Most (not all) describe a 'good run' by how far or how fast they went or a 'bad run' by how far/fast they didn't. It's the nature of the sport, and a nature I've learned to accept (which has released some anxiety, honestly!). What's interesting is that there is a population of runners who prefer to run for the run.... a blogging/running buddy recently used this term to describe me. She said, "Robin, you are a zen runner." Is that possible? Is that okay? Who cares if it's okay? It does describe a type of runner.... and perhaps, ultimately, it will be that zen runner who runs injury-free longer and with more enthusiasm...With whom are we racing, really???

HUGS!!

Robin said...

Sorry - not 'best PR' that didn't make sense. Meant to say, "What's your PR?" as various race lengths are discussed... :-)

Don't get me wrong: #s are good. I'm a 'data gal' myself, but they dont' have to be the means to the end in a sport which is known for its endurance. There's MUCH to be said for the guys and gals who can run for hours upon hours.... and THAT is about being slow and steady.

kilax said...

What did you name your garmin?

Nothing makes you feel better when you are slow, or last! I always try to remind myself that I am lukcy to be running... but some speed would be nice!