“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”
Robert F. Bennett
So much about this weekend was wonderful, that I couldn't help thinking back to an earlier, not so wonderful time in my life. Making lifestyle changes is not easy, but I would like to share with you one of the techniques that I have found extremely helpful for myself and even sometimes use with my clients in therapy. We'll call it the "Every choice is a new beginning" technique.
Every day, we make dozens of choices - between using the stairs or the elevator, eating an apple or a chip, going to bed at 10 or 12, going for a run or doing the dishes, watching television or reading, making a phone call or sending an email...the list can go on endlessly.
The way this works, is that every single choice you make needs to be viewed separately from the other choices. PLUS, you must absolutely avoid dwelling over a bad choice that cannot be changed (such as swallowing the last piece of chocolate). This is very important, because when we become disappointed with ourselves for the choice we made, we are at greater risk of feeling defeated and going the "may as well eat the chips too" route. So, if the whole chocolate bar has been eaten, it is impossible to change your choice and you must therefore accept it as such. Simply moving on, with the clear idea that another choice will be coming up soon and you will be given another opportunity to make a healthier choice. This mindset is much more likely to keep you motivated. The goal is to aim for more "healthy" than "unhealthy" choices in a day...NOT perfection. What usually happens is that we become so much more conscious of the power we have over every single choice we make, that it becomes easier to make the choice that makes us proud.
I repeat, the three most important points are:
1) Once a choice cannot be changed, DO NOT DWELL ON IT.
2) Aim for more "healthy" than "unhealthy" choices in a day, not perfection.
3) Be proud of yourself when you choose to stop eating your chocolate bar after two bites.
Myself, I choose to go to bed now...Cheers!
23 comments:
Thanks for that Anne, I'm really going to give it a try. It sounds so positive.
I need that not perfection message. Yesterday I had half a doughnut after volunteering and didn't go nuts and eat everything in sight. Huge for me!
A podcast I listen to - Running with the pack- has a female guest host for awhile and she has asthma. You can get it at Itunes if you' re interested.
Good lesson. I think I need to start applying that one.
Thanks. I needed this! A friend of mine was telling me how her trainer told her this - "You ate the chips. You can't undo it, so get over it!" I need to work on that!
I totally agree. Eating healthy doesn't mean that we have to give everything up. We simply choose to eat a slice of cake and then move on. Enjoy the cake - but know that it was a treat - but that you can't eat the whole cake. Day in day out - the choices need to be healthy.
I love TMG's quote above - "you can't undo it, so get over it"
I take the stairs everyday at work.
Enjoy the week. I had a beautiful 3 mile run this morning - brisk temps 25 F - but the sun rise was awesome. ;-)
Great blog today! It seems I am on a similar kick recently. I really think the idea of making good choices but not beating your self up over the bad ones is important. Some excellent points made!
Good advice - especially for those of us who strive for perfection and then get frustrated and give up when we can't do it perfectly!
This is some really great advice. I have often struggled with an "all or nothing" mentality, but I am trying to celebrate each positive and not beat myself up too much when I have the occasional slip up.
Great post!
I really enjoyed this message and it promotes a more kind and gentle way of treating oneself, rather than getting frustrated or angry and that small mistakes or bumps we hit with our decisions! You are gifted at what you do, thank you!
Freedom of choice - it is a wonderful thing in our lives. Thanks for the uplifting approach to our daily decision making!
I am often an all or nothing person but I like the idea of looking at each decision independently from the next decision leaving us free to let go of guilt and move on!
I'm right there with you...spot on...
Great post. I often let myself get derailed by one bad choice (as in, I ate that chocolate so I might as well pig out for the rest of the day).
I totally agree!
This is wonderful advice that I wish more of us took to heart.
Hi Anne,
What a great post!! This was the perfect message for me right now...I was sort of thinking about running upstairs and taking a handful of Milk Duds...I am craving chocolate:) I changed my mind and will grab an apple!! Thanks Anne...I needed this:)
Every little bit helps. No need for perfection because then you are aiming to fail. Aim for what you can do and celebrate your accomplishments!! Thanks for the great post.
And...thanks for the birthday wishes.
I am guilty of dwelling on the missed runs. I will have to remember your lesson. What is done, is done.
Great post Anne! Thank for sharing the bennett's tecnique which you use in therapy.
You are right, I sometimes don't analyze the choise and then I don't think that "another choice will be coming up soon". It's very interesting and useful for job and socializing. Thanks again Anne.
This is a great post! Thanks! I am going to link it to my family blog...if that is okay with you! I am doing a fitness challenge and I just love this...you said it perfect!
Wonderful post! Gave me a lot to think about.
Great post! I LOVE chocolate and other sweets and have been dedicated to cutting back on it this year. I like your advice to just try and make more healthy than unhealthy choices and not try to be perfect. So important. Trying to be perfect can set you up for 'failure.'
Hey Im loving this blog! Great positivity. I also have been an asthmatic from when I was about 4 years old.
I have a few blog entries about it!
http://runningfool-ootaynee.blogspot.com/2010/04/asthma.html
Take it easy!
I love that thought about making healthier choices, not necessarily perfection.
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