“The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.”
Eli Khamarov
Eli Khamarov
When I crossed over from the “world of those who walk” into the “world of those who run” I found my expectations quickly shifting into high gear. Within only a few months, I went from being so proud of myself for running 5K non-stop, to feeling so disappointed at how slow I was. It is almost impossible not to make comparisons, and as competitive and ambitious human beings, we are definitely biased in our comparisons. That is, they tend to be only with people who are better than we are. There is also the tendency to not take into consideration the reasons they may be better than we are, which certainly doesn’t make the comparison fair. It is so easy to get pulled into this cycle of expectations.
Believe me when I say I know this is much easier said than done, but I’ve been working on it. When I first started running, I only had one barometer and that was myself. It was easy to feel proud for going a little farther each week. I still found it difficult sometimes, because I kept thinking it should feel less hard, but I was improving and I was proud of that. Then I started blogging and I started running with a group and I started running with friends and family and all of a sudden, the number of barometers I could measure myself against increased many fold. Initially, I totally got caught up in it all. Taking nothing other than running speed and distance into consideration, I was slow and I wasn’t so proud of myself anymore.
I am not talking about goals here, it is VERY important to have goals, but then ideally we need to let go and enter each situation with no set expectations. The difference between a goal and an expectation is that a goal gives you direction and motivates you to push yourself, whereas an expectation sets an emotional barrier on the goal. My goal is to run a half-marathon in May. This goal is motivating me to prepare to the best of my ability so that I feel ready to take on the challenge on race day. Ideally, I would go into this race with no expectations. If I expect it to be a nice sunny day and it’s raining, I’ll be disappointed; if I expect to finish in style and with no pain, I risk disappointment; if I expect to finish under a certain time, I highly risk being disappointed; and if anything doesn’t go as expected, I risk being disappointed regardless of the fact that I may attain my goal of completing a half-marathon. What a waste of a great achievement!
Everything I do to reach this goal is life experience that will stay with me forever, no matter how it goes on race day. So I am trying hard to appreciate being able to run injury free today and to work towards my goal of running a half-marathon in Ottawa in May. As for how it goes on race day, well: “Que Sera, Sera.” :)
“The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.”
Jim Rohn
Cheers!
15 comments:
Wonderful post! It's so easy to allow "goals" VS "expectations" to be confused... I have done it myself and had my fair share of expectations.
Ever learning....
Great post! It's so easy sometimes to get caught up in all the speed and goals around us that we forget to enjoy the moment and what we are able to do right now!
Great post, I've fallen in to that trap so many times, it's so easy to compare to others, especially in the blogging world!
Thanks for the reminder of what's important :)
Love that last quote "what it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get" - what a good reminder. It is the journey that matters the most, isn't it?
Ultimately I like running because it doesn't have to be me against someone else. I am competing with myself. I am not a competitive person, so running works well for me. I probably could use a little more competitiveness (or so my husband thinks).
It took me to run a marathon to finally feel like I could qualify as a "runner" - silly I know but for some reason this was the expectation I had of a runner. Some days I still question if I am a true runner - but that is just because I am allowing myself to compare to other runners who are much faster than I am!
Enough rambling . . . I guess your post got me thinking! :) Happy Friday!
It is so easy to get caught up with goals and expectations in running. I usually feel happy just to be able to run, like you've said. After being out for an injury last year, that's all I need!
Ah, what a refreshing post. I agree completely and might add that no matter what the goal, no matter how hard you have trained and no matter how badly you might want something, there are a million other factors that come into play that one has no control over. Weather, your body, mood, the course...and I think surrendering to the moment is the best thing to do! Thank you for this post.
I really TRY to only compete against myself. Everyone else is running with a different body, mind, issues, commitments, reasons . . . etc. We all have different experiences and are at different points . . . and I run for enjoyment and to stay in shape - not to win races (although that would be a hoot).
As you run more races you will see your times decrease - and will easily be able to measure your improvements -
Keep up the hard work and ENJOY your time running.
Awesome post Ann. I love competing with myself too! Maybe that's why I have trouble comnpeting against other people.
Thanks for your supportive comments on my blog too! Very much appreciated.
I love this post! How true it is that everything we do to reach a goal will stay with us for the rest of our lives. Wow. You made me sit back and appreciate my running experiences.
My goal for my first half marathon was simple - cross the finish line! And I did not disappoint myself - in fact I was incredibly proud of myself and burst into tears when I finally did cross that finish line. You will be so proud and happy of yourself, whatever the day turns out to be like, and however slow or fast you go, I am sure of it.
Nicely written Anne! Yes, every race that we experience is worth something no matter what the outcome. It will forever be a stepping stone and serve a purpose:) We also gain character with every race...we never stop learning which is just as important as getting faster:)
This is a great post. It is sad if someone enters a race with too much expectation and is disappointed with the result when it is something one should be proud of!
I too get caught up in the idea of being faster, but then I find a beautiful trail and all concerns go out the window!
You're right that any sport has a competitive element to it (or else it wouldn't be a sport!). And thanks for explaining the difference between a goal and an expectation. I'm sure one will continue to be raised as the other one does too.
It just occurred to me, after reading this post a few times, that I don't have any goals anymore and haven't for quite a while. I need to change that.
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